(insert adjective above).
“a mystery” was what a former co-worker once called me. true, i may not be too keen on self-disclosure, or having my life be an open book, but i’ve always been taught to keep professional lives separate from the personal. though i never intend to seem aloof or, worse yet, something that falls under more disfavorable titles; life experience have taught me certain defense mechanisms. regretfully, under certain amounts of stress, these are amplified, and a side that is not characteristically me sometimes manifests…
no, not in the jeckll-and-hyde sense.
more in a “energy-preservation” sense, i become an exhausted version of myself. drained. sometimes its cognitively after some odd hours of intense exertion where i emerge with delayed reaction times (_so_ awkward when i can’t even formulate the word, “hi,” instinctually). more often, its physically as well—i’ll sleep for hours on end to catch up on my missed and beloved “zzzz.” until i can fully rest or eat, i’m like the walking dead, minus that whole carnivorous-flesh-eating-zombie aspect and constant muttering of “braaain.”
i even miss the undergrad days, which i would’ve never guessed to be easier than the last couple of years. what a sprightly, naive little thing i was then, virtually carefree. i feel aged now, and not in a good way like the best-ever mitica.
luxury to me, these days, is an 8-hr sleep and a full day of leisure.
and, of course, maybe a little… ;)
(Disclaimer: The author of this piece does not endorse anything guessed to complete the last line or as substitute of the winking emoticon)